


egg and soldier

by imasradiantasthesun



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Firebending & Firebenders, Gen, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Minor Swearing, Not Beta Read, POV Sokka (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar) Has ADHD, Western Air Temple, but its there dont worry, i didnt reread this and it took me like three hours to write, me? writing dialogue? its more likely than youd think, no beta we die like men, so many dumb puns, the zukka is very light, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imasradiantasthesun/pseuds/imasradiantasthesun
Summary: Sokka is a simple man. He likes science, food, and cracking -ha! cracking, Tui and La I’m hilarious- jokes. What better way to combine all three than to have Aang fry an egg on his head?
Relationships: Aang & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka & The Gaang (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 100





	egg and soldier

**Author's Note:**

> pt 2 of the unintentional “i started off writing for my body horror/bending fic, wrote this one (1) scene, and got side tracked. bon appetit” series, this one initially being based on my idea that firebenders can cause heat haze around their bodies - pt 1, a much angstier fic based on the idea that firebenders’ skin doesn’t burn easily, can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27553729)
> 
> based off of [this post](https://aucatgirl.tumblr.com/post/629918555075493888/super-important-firebending-training-that-will)
> 
> to get into the vibes of this fic i highly recommend listening to Mucka Blucka by Tally Hall and Chicken Payback by Dr. Dog
> 
> originally titled Sokka's Firebending 101. renamed after the song Egg and Soldiers by Cosmo Sheldrake in order to fit w/ my theme of fics named after songs :)

The Western Air Temple can get boring. All Sokka really does is plan for the comet, watch Aang train, and practice his swordbending with Zuko. So really, can you blame a guy for wanting to have some fun every once in a while?

When Zuko was chasing the gAang _(Ha! My genius strikes again,_ Sokka thought), Sokka had noticed that when the firebender got even angrier than usual, - _and that’s really saying something_ \- the air around him would shimmer with heat, making everything around him look blurry.

Sokka reasoned that if Zuko was able to create this heat haze around his body without any negative physical repercussions, then surely he must be able to heat objects with his skin. This reasonable conclusion was backed up when, through the smoke, Sokka saw Zuko’s body _burst into flames_ \- _frankly, that’s just unfair_ \- while he continued to fight the pirates and use those same flames that were engulfing his body _(!!)_ to shoot at his enemies - _ok I’ll admit that was badass._

This realization, combined with Sokka’s incessant hunger, led him to come to a simple conclusion: Zuko’s bald head would make a _fantastic_ portable skillet, perfect for when you’re on the run! Unfortunately for Sokka _(pfff it’s not luck, it’s sheer probability)_ , he was too busy, y’know, being chased by and/or fighting off said firebender to test his hypothesis.

Now at the Western Air Temple, though, Zuko was part of the team, but was no longer mostly bald. Enter Aang.

“Hey buddy, when was the last time you shaved your head?” Sokka asked as he and his friends finished up eating their breakfast.

“After I woke up this morning. Why?” The airbender looked at his friend quizzically over his congee.

Sokka grabbed an egg from their supplies - promptly ignoring his sister’s shout of “Hey!” - and lightly tossed it between his hands. “How’d you like to help me with an experiment?”

Aang’s face lit up at the possibility of pushing off training in favor of one of Sokka’s genius experiments, just as the older boy predicted. Also as Sokka had predicted _(using past trends in data and personal experience, of course, take that Aunt Wu!)_ , he met quite a lot of backlash all at once after proposing his procedure to the rest of the gAang.

“Is this even vegan?”

“I’m _vegetarian!_ Is that _mustache_ even vegetarian?”

“I think we need to work on your comebacks, buddy - maybe ask Zuko for some tips on _burns_ during your next session.”

“Agni, quit it with the puns!”

“Hey, I thought we were science buddies!”

“We are, Teo, this is just an Aang-specific _eggs_ -periment.”

“What did I _just_ say, Sokka.”

“You better not be wasting our food supplies!”

“Oh I am _so_ gonna take that as a personal challenge.”

“Letting Toph near eggs isn’t all it’s _cracked_ up to be.”

“That one was terrible.”

“I thought you guys would be _egg_ -cited about this!”

“Y’know, I think I’ve decided to be evil again.”

“Can I be the one to crack the egg?”

“Do you know how to without it _egg_ -sploding everywhere?”

“For Agni's sake-”

“Umm… yes?”

“Sorry Duke, but maybe next time.”

“It’s _The_ Duke!”

“Sifu Hotman can I _please_ do this instead of training today,” Aang asked with polar bear puppy eyes.

Zuko looked reluctant. Aang looked like he was struggling to win over his favor, so Sokka decided to help him out. He turned to Zuko with polar bear puppy eyes. “ _Please_ Zuko, for me?”

The older firebender huffed out a sigh, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “Fine.” He rested a hand on Sokka’s shoulder from where he was sitting next to him before he could start celebrating. “But _only_ if you can explain how this is relevant to your training.”

“Um… Aang should _egg_ -nore his training in favor of _frying_ out the plan I’ve _hatched_?” Zuko groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, _egg_ -sactly the _(admittedly pretty cute)_ reaction Sokka was going for.

“Oh oh! I got this one!” The group turned to Aang expectantly _(you could maybe say… heh… you could say… they turned egg-spectantly… )_. Sokka stifled a laugh. “The dragons taught us that fire is life, right? Well, food keeps us alive, soooooo if anything this is honoring the principles of firebending?” Aang said sheepishly. _Hm, mentioning honor, nice touch,_ Sokka thought.

Zuko sighed yet again. “Fine.” Sokka cheered and hugged Zuko, who continued, “I will be coaching you through it though.”

“Yes!” After letting go of Zuko, who was still blushing furiously, Sokka ran over to Aang… aaaaaaand almost _immediately_ tripped over a rock that appeared out of nowhere.

Ignoring Toph’s cackling and Katara’s huff, he grabbed yet another egg, quickly avoided a few columns that erupted from the floor, and sat by Aang’s side.

“Teo NorthernAirTemple, care to remind our audience of the steps of our Scientific Method?” Sokka said in an overly dramatic manner. Katara rolled her eyes, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Why yes of course, Sokka WaterTribe,” Teo said in an equally goofy professional voice after wheeling over to the other side of Aang. “Quiet Red Hippo-Elephants Aren’t Candles.”

“Ah yes, of course, that makes perfect se-” Toph’s sarcastic comment was cut off by The Duke shushing her.

“As I was saying, that can be used to remember the steps: Question, Research, Hypothesis, Experiment,” - Teo ignored Sokka’s whispered “ _egg_ -speriment” - “Analysis, and Conclusion.”

Sokka cleared his throat. “First off, question: Can firebenders cook food with their skin? During my research a few months ago-”

“You’ve been planning this for _months_?!” Katara interrupted.

“Yes, Tui and La, keep up! Anyway, I found that firebenders can heat the air around them when they experience strong emotions, as so:” Sokka proceeded to peck Zuko on the cheek and then quickly back away. Zuko, true to form, burst into flames before quickly _egg_ -stinguishing himself _(haha still got it!)_.

Sokka continued his explanation without mentioning the smoke still emanating from Zuko or his _(ok fine, very cute)_ blush. “My hypothesis is that-”

“Oma and Shu, just crack the egg on his head already before I crack _your_ head!” Toph yelled.

“Alright, alright! _Someone_ woke up on the wrong side of the rock slab this morning,” Sokka grumbled.

“I appreciated your explanation, Sokka.” _This is why Haru is my favorite bender,_ Sokka thought.

As Sokka cracked the egg, lost said egg to yet another wayward stone (“Haru how _dare_ you!” “That was not me I swear! Just ask Teo!” “As a scientist I must remain neutral on the matter”), obtained another (“Next time we run out of supplies I’m making you buy all the groceries”), dropped that one after The Duke unsuccessfully tried to fight for his right to take part in the experiment (“Toph!” “I am _literally_ just sitting here, I had nothing to do with this”), grabbed and protected the final egg (“What’s the opposite of adopting a sibling? Whatever it is that’s what I’m going to do to you Sokka”), and _finally_ cracked it, Zuko had recovered from his previous bout of spontaneous combustion and was coaching Aang.

“Remember your breathing exercises. Connect to your inner flame as you feel-”

“Alright alright enough with this jerkbending nonsense!” Sokka pushed Zuko aside - “Hey, watch it!” - and cracked the egg over Aang’s head. The gAang watched in uncharacteristic silence before the egg started to cook on top of the airbender’s bald head.

The egg sizzled as the group cheered. Sokka, proud of his research findings, was unable to fully enjoy the fruits of his labor, as The Duke quickly snatched the egg from Aang as soon as it had cooled and ate it.

“I must say, Sokka, I’m surprised it worked. Congratulations!” Aang bubbled and patted his friend on the back.

“Yeah yeah, no need to _egg_ him on.”

And in that moment, Sokka had never been more proud of his little sister.

“Oh fuck there are _two_ of them!”

**Author's Note:**

> fuck it. teo and sokka invented the scientific method. fun fact the mnemonic teo used is based off of one i had to make in sixth grade that i still remember: Quiet Red Hippos Eat Acidic Candles
> 
> ngl i dont remember like. anything from the show rn L.O.L. amirite i had to watch a few different fight scenes to choose which one zuko shows off his new & improved skill of Straight Up Setting Himself On Fire in. said ability will be expanded upon in the upcoming body horror & bending fic i have planned (i may just turn it into a series tho and jam these fics into it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)
> 
> comments & kudos are very much appreciated!!
> 
> TANGENT - writing this fic made me realize i straight up dont know how to cook an egg. i dont even Like eggs, i had to make this silly lil experiment abt egg freshness this summer, and long story short i ended up crushing a 3 month old duck egg in my palm after it had been sitting in my dining room in a tupperware full of hay all summer. so yeah fuck eggs all my homies hate eggs
> 
> \- ez <3


End file.
